He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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