i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
