We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cannot find my penis.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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