dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
