Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
