PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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