Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
