Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
wow bdsm is so cute
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
