Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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