There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
this is an emotional support booty call
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
