so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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