All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
