what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
