p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
