I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
