my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
