hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
