Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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