Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
