it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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