it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
3pm strippers are depressing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
