Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
