thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
