1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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