Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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(360): View more from Washington

It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick

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(905): View more from Ontario

was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles

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(619): View more from California

Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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(+61): View more from Australia

I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.

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(562): View more from California

You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls

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