I cannot find my penis.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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