You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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