First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
