i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
