used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
