It's Friday. Sex?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
