i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
