I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do vagina's smell?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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