He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
God, you're like boner-b-gone
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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