Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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