i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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