I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
