I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
