Kiss
Puke
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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