just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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