Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
