can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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