New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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