She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
