i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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