i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
