Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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