She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
