we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
