How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
