ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I look better un-naked...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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